It’s hard. We know. Maybe you’re gay or bi, and they’re straight, which is a challenging situation. Either way, it’s in your best interest to get over it. So, let us show you some specific gay tips on how to get over a straight crush, like accepting your feelings, humanizing them, focusing on self-improvement, and seeking support from friends or a therapist.
©Lilly Singh (ft. Rudy Mancuso)
List of Our 7 Gay Tips: How to get over a straight crush
Note: if you are interested in this topic for whatever reason, we recommend reading our related article on What to do when falling in love with a straight man.
Accept your feelings
First, you must admit your feelings to move on from a crush. Initially, denying romantic feelings is common, especially for a good friend, a boss, or someone you see as unattainable. Therefore, accepting your feelings is a crucial step. Remember, crushes are normal, even on people you wouldn’t date. You’re not alone in this. It’s okay to feel this way.
Suppressing your feelings won’t help. Acknowledge your emotions, even if their orientation doesn’t match yours. Facing the pain is necessary for healing. So, this was the first gay tip on how to get over a straight crush.
Humanize him and focus on your platonic relationship.
When you have a crush, idealizing the person is easy, especially if you don’t know them well. Try to focus on their positive traits and less on the things that aren’t great. This can help you see them more realistically, as a person with flaws and strengths rather than an idealized version of them.
Although you and your crush may get along incredibly well, time often reveals all the perks.
You have feelings for this person, and that’s OK. Just put them in a different direction than romance. Try building up your friendship with your crush instead of focusing on the fact that you like them.
Note: If you are interested in whether a straight guy can fall in love with another man, please read our article A Straight Man In Love With A Man.
Move on.
You can take two paths: becoming friends might help your feelings move on more efficiently, or hanging out could make those feelings even more vital. If being around them feels too painful because a romantic relationship isn’t possible right now, take a little break.
If you’re up to it, consider sharing your feelings with them. Tell them you have a crush and need time to sort through things. Be honest; you still like them and would love to hang out again once things settle down. This way, they’ll understand it’s nothing personal.
If that feels too daunting, no worries! You can always make gentle excuses, like being busy or needing help at home. If they ask to hang out, you can say you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, but you’d love to catch up later when things are calmer.
Think about whether being just friends is something you can do. Keeping the friendship can be a great option if you enjoy their company and think it would be fun. But taking a step back is OK if your feelings are too strong and make things difficult. Remember, you don’t have to rush into a decision—taking time to sort through your emotions is perfectly fine!
Note: If you want to learn more about forgiveness as part of letting go and moving on, read our related article, All about Forgiveness.
Meet New Gays
You may feel like your current crush is the be-all and end-all, but they aren’t. There are thousands of people nearby who can like you back. It cannot be easy to find someone else who compares in your eyes, but it is a good thing to do and a healthy part of moving on.
If you are right, try looking for people of compatible orientations at pride events, LGBT+ clubs, dating websites, or gay bars (if you are of drinking age).
Reminder: If you are already ready to put yourself on the love market again, try reading our article on how to date gay men properly.
Focus on self-improvement.
It’s completely understandable to feel devastated by your crush right now. Taking a step back can help you rethink your life and focus on what truly matters. Instead of fixating on your crush, engage in activities that improve your situation and well-being. This is your time to shine, to focus on yourself and your growth.
A mini-makeover—like a new hairstyle or outfit—can boost your confidence. Organizing your space can also bring a sense of calm. Don’t underestimate exercise; it can help clear your mind and provide a refreshing break from worries.
Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them consume you. Expressing emotions can be healing, but dwelling on them might hinder connections with others. Be gentle with yourself when negative thoughts arise.
Remember, it’s OK to take your time to heal. Healing is a process, and you’re not alone—it’s perfectly fine not always to be OK. Your feelings are valid, and you need to take the time to work through them.
Note: You might be interested in our article, The Fastest Way to Happiness.
Prioritize your mental health and self-esteem.
Rejection is rough; sometimes, it’s easy to forget that you aren’t a person for it. Take care of your mental health to feel good about yourself and move on. Write two lists: one list of things you’re grateful for and one list of things you do (work, hobbies, social skills, etc.) Tape these lists to your wall, where you can see them daily.
Practice positive self-talk. It sounds silly, but it works. Look at yourself in the mirror a few times daily and say whatever you need to hear. It might be, “You’ll someone better,” or “On is worth all this moping,” or “E,” or just “I am awesome.” Repeat it until you believe it.
Work on your hobbies and skills. Sing a song, build a birdhouse, beat the tenth level, draw a picture, or whatever you love. Then, look at your work and recognize how cool it is.
Volunteer to clean up neighborhoods, teach underprivileged children, work at a soup kitchen, or help online at websites like wikiHow. Doing good work will help you feel proud of yourself.
Talk about it with a friend or therapist.
If you’re grappling with your emotions, sharing them with someone you trust is crucial. They can provide valuable perspective on your feelings and help you assess why your crush might not fit.
Take these actions:
- Speak openly with loved ones.
- Confide in someone who knows your crush well.
- Write down your feelings in a journal or an unsent letter.
If your daily functioning is suffering, seek therapy. It’s a practical solution when you feel trapped in negative thoughts, Struggle to prioritize self-care, or Experience persistent sadness, loneliness, or hopelessness. You may even feel anxious when you don’t hear from your crush.
The Conclusion
This is the most excellent gay tip in this post block. When getting over a straight crush, know that most people have been where you are. Crushes are common, and you’ll have several more. Remember: A failed crush has nothing to do with your virtue or who you are. It’s just as simple as incompatibility with the person you fall for. Therefore, acknowledging there’s no chance of a relationship doesn’t always prevent a crush or help you overcome one. What can help is time. It may not seem like it right now, but before long, your feelings likely won’t feel so intense. They might even disappear altogether.
Take a look at
Photo credits:
Feature photo Credits: tysonplus.com