First dates can be a bit messy, and this holds for everyone, including the LGBTQ+ community. However, it’s crucial to recognize and steer clear of these common mistakes, as they can significantly impact your future dates. Here, we’ll delve into some of the principal mistakes gays make on the first date.
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Principal Mistakes Gays Make on the First Date
Revealing too many details
Revealing too much information is one of the most common errors gays make on their first dates.
Of course, being open and honest about your past is a vital part of getting to know a new partner. Sharing some basic information about your life can help them understand you better. However, it’s important to remember that you don’t need to reveal every single detail about your past or trauma on the first date. Moderation is key here!
Sexual health and safety should always be a priority.
If you’re only interested in a casual physical relationship, that’s OK! Online dating apps like Grindr and Tinder can help you find a random hookup. However, if you’re looking for something more meaningful, or if Grindr isn’t your preferred platform, consider exploring alternative dating apps. Remember, your sexual health and safety should always be a priority, and Unprotected sexual intercourse or skipping the STI talk is for sure one of the biggest mistakes gays make on the first date.
So, remember! Discussing your most recent STI tests and sharing your results is essential. Additionally, it’s crucial to bring protection and contraception, such as condoms, to ensure safe sex when engaging with a new partner.
You are being dishonest about your intentions.
Playing games is a big no-no on first dates, and honestly, it’s never really acceptable. There’s no need to lie about what you want from the date. Regardless of your goal, be sure not to play games with the person you’re meeting. You don’t have to say you’re looking for marriage or something casual immediately but don’t lie about your wants and goals if intentions are mentioned. That will only waste everyone’s time and energy.
Note: We know it is hard sometimes to be yourself on your first; that’s why we recommend reading our related article.
Moving on too quickly
The jokes about quickly moving in together in the queer community are typical for a reason. We often rush into relationships and fall in love too fast after finding someone we’re compatible with. However, moving too quickly is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.
Take things slowly. You don’t have to move in together immediately after a great first date. Enjoy getting to know each other and commit when you’re ready. There’s no rush; taking time can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.
Talking too much about an ex
Talking about exes is OK, but don’t overdo it. If someone talks incessantly about a past partner, especially a recent one, it’s a sign that they’re not over them.
If you find yourself constantly talking about your ex, take a moment to reflect. Do you still miss them? Are you indeed over them? It’s OK to briefly mention them if they were a significant part of your life, but don’t dwell on them.
Furthermore, refrain from speaking negatively about them. Criticizing an ex is never a good look, particularly on a first date. All this applies even more if you were in a long-term relationship with your ex.
Getting wasted
Drinking can help you relax, and going for happy hour on first dates is quite common. But regardless of why you’re drinking, whether it’s for enjoyment or to boost your confidence, it’s best to avoid getting heavily intoxicated on your first date. And remember this. Getting wasted is one of the most common mistakes gays make on the first dates, and even more, not just gays but the majority of people.
A good rule of thumb is to limit yourself to one or two drinks at most on a first date to prevent getting too drunk, messy, or completely losing your memory. Being sober or slightly buzzed can help you stay attentive enough to decide if you genuinely like the person. (Drunk goggles are a real thing!)
Ignoring red flags
It’s necessary to be cautious when seeking a relationship. Take off your rose-colored glasses and pay attention to how your date behaves. Please don’t ignore any red flags at the beginning, as they could become deal breakers later on.
One-sided conversation.
The conversation should be a two-way street. It’s crucial to ask each other questions to understand one another better. The goal of a first date is to see if you could be compatible and genuinely like the other person based on who they are. If the conversation is very one-sided, it’s a bad sign. The person may use the date as an opportunity to get free therapy or be self-absorbed. If you only talk about yourself, consider why that is and whether you’re genuinely interested in getting to know the other person.
Hanging out with friends
Connecting in a more intimate setting rather than a group is better when meeting someone for the first time. You can go for coffee, walk, or have dinner, just the two of you. These first-date ideas will help you get to know the person better and have meaningful conversations to decide if you want to see them again.
Lying about your queer experience
Newly out? Great! Don’t know how to have gay sex? That’s OK, too! Are you nervous about your date and tempted to pretend you’ve been on many same-sex dates before? Not a good idea.
Be open about your sexuality and your experience with dating as a queer person. This will help you feel more at ease and ensure you connect with dates best suited for you and who will accept you for who you are, which is the ultimate goal.
Honesty will also help you connect with dates best suited for you and who will accept you for who you are, which is the ultimate goal.
Conclusion
Best of luck on your first dates! If you’re prepared to put yourself out there and want to avoid these common mistakes, consider joining a leading online dating service for gay, lesbian, and other queer singles today to meet someone new.
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