First dates can be challenging, especially if you are anxious and not good with words. That’s why I prepared a few First Date conversation starters. These phrases will spike up your first date conversation to the maximum. So, if you’d like to know which are they, please proceed with reading.
A short intro into First Date Conversation starters
First dates can be nerve-wracking when trying to keep the conversation going. But don’t worry! We’ve covered you with ten great conversation starters to help you connect with your date and increase your chances of getting a second date. From basic background questions to creative prompts, these ideas will help you break the ice and have a great time.
Tips for Making Conversation on a First Date
We will reveal some great conversation starters to help you with your first date. And even better, it can even help you get a second date, which should be your goal if you like the person. However, if you’d like to see more tips on how to make your first date ideal, we recommend reading our related article.
Keep a list of possible conversation topics.
If you feel nervous or anxious, keep a list of potential conversation topics on your phone. The list could include questions to ask as well as funny anecdotes you can talk about. Knowing you have this list in case you get nervous and freeze up can help you relax on the date.
Ask open-ended questions: Open-ended questions invite people to talk about their feelings and share more information about themselves.
Listen actively
Yes, you read it right: to listen to talk. In our opinion, This is one of the best conversation starters. Firstly, it is most important to actively listen to what your date is saying. Furthermore, ask the right questions to show them you’re interested. For example, if you ask them which magic power they want and they respond, you can ask them why.
Try not to conduct it like an interrogation.
When on a date, avoiding making your partner feel like they’re being interviewed or evaluated is essential. Instead of focusing on their academic or professional achievements, try to learn about their personality genuinely. The best way to do so is by asking about the little details of their life and what they enjoy. For instance, you can ask about their morning routines, favorite desserts, or how they spend their weekends. That way, you can establish a deeper connection and build a stronger relationship by showing an interest in their tastes.
Look for common ground.
Build a bond with the person by looking for things you have in common and creating shared experiences in the conversation. The best conversations involve talking about the things that enliven you both.
Keep your expectations realistic.
Some people are so focused on finding a life partner that they place unrealistic stress on the first date by pushing a stranger into a fictional archetype of their life partner. This puts too much pressure on the date and can suppress all spontaneity and pleasure. Instead, lower your expectations for the first meeting to determine whether you want to spend more time with this person.
Please don’t feel pressured to prove your worth: It’s typical for people to feel pressure to prove their value or worth to the other person on a first date. This skews the power dynamic and puts you at a disadvantage. Instead, a helpful phrase to remember is “You’re buying, not selling.”
Begin With the Basics
While they may not be the most meaty to discuss on a first date, you have to start somewhere, and the basics could be a better place to start. Once you know more about your date’s background, you can guide the conversation to more exciting places and avoid those embarrassing pauses. Discussing how you spend your days, where you live, and whether or not you enjoy the environment sets an excellent foundation for conversation-building.
Here are some ideal points to start with the basics:
- “What neighborhood do you currently live in?
- Are you happy with the community there? I am curious to know about your workday routine!
- Also, what do you adore about living in this area?
- By the way, I have been enjoying [name of restaurant/shop/etc.]. Have you ever had the chance to visit there?”
Talk About Where You’re From
Sharing childhood experiences can help couples bond and learn more about each other. It doesn’t matter if their backgrounds differ. Questions like “What were your favorite hobbies in school?” or “What’s your most cherished childhood memory?” can start the conversation.
Explore the Preferences
If you feel like family matters and childhood experiences are too personal for a first date, there are other ways to get to know someone’s personality. You can start by asking simple anecdotal questions leading to discussions about overlapping interests, qualities, and preferences. For example, you can ask questions like “Are you an early bird or a night owl?” or “Do you prefer dogs or cats?” or even “Would you say you’re an idealist, a pessimist, or a realist?” If you want more open-ended responses, you can ask questions like “What’s your idea of a perfect day?” or “What do you and your friends enjoy doing for fun?”
Open Up About Your Hobbies
When you’re on a first date, you must talk about your interests and hobbies to help you get to know each other better. Whether you’re a musician, a fitness enthusiast, or a sports fan, sharing your passions and pastimes can create new opportunities for bonding. You can learn more about each other’s personality and preferences by discussing what you like to do for fun. Additionally, you can gauge how much free time they have and what they usually do in their free time.
Here are some questions to get the conversation going:
– Have you started any new hobbies recently?
– What do you usually do on a day off from work?
– I’ve recently started [name a hobby]. Have you ever tried it before?
Have a Conversation About Travel
Talking about travel is a popular topic for a first date since it allows you to share your travel stories, express interest in places you want to visit and discover potential differences. Through this conversation, you and your date can learn more about each other’s interests and passions by discussing your ideal vacation types and favorite travel destinations.
Some conversation starters for travel topics include:
- -What is your dream travel destination
- Do you have any memorable travel experiences?
- How do you feel about flying?
- Have you lived abroad, or would you like to?
Debate Your Favorite Music
Talking about someone’s favorite music can reveal much about their personality, making it a tremendous first-date conversation topic. By discussing music, you can find out if you share similar tastes or if your date can introduce you to new genres or bands. You can also bond over shared concert experiences or discuss artists you both admire. To start the conversation, ask What’s the best live music show you’ve attended? Do you enjoy creating playlists? Which artist or genre best represents your musical taste? Have you ever been to a music festival? These conversation starters can help you learn more about your date and discover new music.
Talk About Your Ambitions
Discussing your goals, hopes, and desires on a first date can help you get to know someone better. You don’t have to talk only about career-related goals; you can also share your interests and priorities. For example, you can talk about your desire to learn how to play the guitar or master French cooking. This way, your date can learn more about your interests and aspirations.
To start the conversation, ask, “What’s an accomplishment you’re proud of?” Alternatively, you can get straight to the point and inquire, “What’s your dream job?”
Talk About Food
Talking about food can be a great way to set the stage for a second date, as not all first dates involve food. You can open up about your favorite restaurants, cuisines, and bakeries and discuss the best places in town for a bite and the best meal you’ve ever had. To start the conversation, ask your date for suggestions on new restaurants to try in the area for a work dinner next week.
Keep Things Intriguing
If you find small talk boring, try asking more creative questions. You might discover more about the other person than you expected. However, only ask the questions that genuinely interest you. These are typically open-ended questions that don’t follow the usual script. Here are some of our favorite examples:
- What are the little things that always brighten up your day?
- If you could relive any day, which one would it be?
- What makes you laugh?
- What were some of your weirdest quirks and habits as a kid
- Which item in your bedroom best represents or personifies you
- What is one quality you wish you had?
Remember that even the best questions and timing can only save a date if chemistry exists. If things are not going well and you feel uncomfortable or unsure how to continue, you could try one more open-ended question or gracefully bring the date to an end. For example, you could say, “I have a pretty long day tomorrow and need to be up early. Shall we ask for the check?”.
On the other hand, if the date is going well, consider extending it or ending it positively. Keep the positive momentum going with phrases like “There’s a cool bar around the corner. Want to check it out?” or “Shall we get another round, or are you ready to split the bill?” If you’d like to schedule another date, try a subtly leading question such as “How does the rest of your workweek look? Do you have any fun weekend plans?”
So, which are your preferred first-date conversation starters? Write them down in the comments below; we’d love to see them.
References and sources:
Photo credits:
Feature photo Credits: iStock Photo